I think I hate the internet

The title of this blog is true, however I cannot deny that I also love it to some extent. It is our world now, every generation is involved somehow, because it is unavoidable. Even my 82 year old Nan knows how to text and call and send images on a Samsung. There is no way we can live in a world without the internet or mobile phones, and thinking we can is delusional. The internet is incredible in so many ways,

the list is endless. Researching and educating people, interacting with others, sharing special memories with friends abroad or far away, listening to new music and watching the music videos, learning languages online, and even writing this blog post. However it also destroys so many other things. It leads to bullying, provoking mental illnesses, eating disorders, and violating your mind when you see something you didn't want to; a main reason why I deleted Twitter so long ago. I met my boyfriend on Tinder, a notorious dating app that most people use to send nudes on and 'have a good time', and my relationship never was, and still isn't remotely similar to that. I only say this to show that sometimes perceptions of certain websites and apps are wrong, and it is my 2 year anniversary tomorrow with my partner.



I think brands also play a big part in everything, especially Apple. I am guilty of wishing I still had an iphone, as my previous ones have broken and malfunctioned, proving that they are cheap and not worth the money, but the design and layouts and picture qualities etc. is just too good for someone obsessed with the internet. I have an android phone, which works okay, and that is all you need, isn't it? 

I find myself always deleting apps and my accounts on various websites, as I try more and more to dissociate myself from the online world. However I always seem to end up back on it. I am so lucky my generation was the last to live a proper, authentic, outdoor childhood, with no phones and no instagram, facebook or snapchat. My brother, who is 16, had a similar childhood to me, however his involvement in the online sphere happened way faster than mine did. I didn't have a phone until I joined secondary school, and then that was just for calls and texts for my parents. My brother had an Xbox at age 9.

I find myself reading much more as I try to be a better, healthier person. I try not to use my phone all the time or before bed, or right as I wake up. I also try not to take it with me everywhere. I have been told I am on my phone all the time by my parents, but I disagree. I find I am one of a few who actively try not to be sucked into my phone or my laptop. My parents, both born in the 60s, will not understand the depths of the internet like younger people. There is no way to. Not without growing up with it. Social media is even a job now, youtube is! Isn't that kind of crazy if you stop and think about it? Someone can be paid real money to sit down and film a video of themselves talking? If only my life could be that easy. And you hear all of them moan about how it isn't easy and how people underestimate their job roles. I am sure it can be tough sometimes, but personally I find physically demanding jobs and jobs that require mental strength, such as counselling, much harder than yours.

I don't want to make this some mammoth post, so I will cut it off here. I just find life to be tough because of the internet sometimes. Likes on your instagram posts seem to matter, likes on your facebook status' and reblogs on your tumblr; but life is about more than that. There is no internet in heaven...but it might be in hell.



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